I was walking down Bermondsey Street the other evening with two friends and my cousin Chris. We were all in high spirits and on our way to a bar near Tower Bridge.

The Gherkin came into view - aka 30 St Mary Axe. It's an amazing building, particularly at night. I wasted no time in telling everyone about the birthday party I went to at the top of the Gherkin last year. It was an amazing party for a friends 50th and no expense was spared - including a high profile cabaret. I was in full flow - the food, the outfits, the Champagne, the view - and the cabaret.

What was the cabaret? My mind went blank. The more I tried to remember the name of this well known '70's pop group, the more it eluded me.

By now we were walking along the river bank towards Tower Bridge. I was vaguely frustrated at my poor memory and subsequent inability to put the icing on the cake of my Gherkin Boast. I gave up trying to remember the name of the group and we ordered a couple of bottles of wine. Only then did the name of the band come to me - Sister Sledge!

This episode reminds me of a coaching technique I use from time to time. It involves the client concentrating on a particular challenge for a few minutes and then relaxing focus on the challenge. The shift in focus is when a powerful moment of clarity is likely to occur - which can lead to a much sought after solution for the challenge in question.

Although my description of this technique is much paraphrased it really does work. So whether you have a big life challenge or need to remember a name that's on the tip of your tongue - a shift of focus could hold the answer.

We spend twenty five years or more of our lives asleep so I guess that's why the subject crops up so often in my coaching sessions with clients. There are lots of ways of ensuring a good nights sleep, most of which are very simple and effective. Sleep often comes up in my blogs too.

I recently lost my way regarding a good nights sleep. I'd turn off the light but my mind would be buzzing and I couldn't work out why. I've now realised what was causing my temporary insomnia: it was my trusty, adored, ever so useful, iPhone 4. Instead of winding down in the hour or two before going to bed I fell into the trap of checking emails, messing around on facebook, looking at photographs and playing games. All fun activities but an excellent way of keeping the brain active at a time when it needs to be resting, making it much more difficult to fall asleep.

The irony is that I don't have a pc or television in my bedroom any more. It's well documented that a low tech bedroom promotes better sleep - an idea that I subscribe to whole-heartedly. Why then have I been using a gadget with the combined power of a tv, pc, play station and more in the very same room? It makes absolutely no sense!

Although I still use the alarm clock on my phone, all other use is banned before bed time and I'm sleeping like a baby again.

We've all experienced it. You have plans with a friend or someone you know and then something better comes along. What to do? You have two choices. Some people will go with The Lure of the Better Offer and there are many ways of employing this strategy:-

• Cancel the initial plan and don’t worry about the person you made it with, they’ll get over the lack of respect you’re showing them – after all, you’re worth it.
• Cancel but prefix with ‘Please don’t hate me but…’ This is a really good one – you know that no one will actually hate you for cancelling, even on a regular basis. They might not even start to feel indifferent to you.
• Accept all the invitations you get and then go with the best option at the last minute.
• Don’t accept an invitation until the last possible minute just incase something better comes along.
• Don’t cancel and don’t turn up – avoid the person you had the plan with until you think they’ve forgotten. On no account mention anything about it in the future and definitely don’t apologise.
• Lie. Lots of scope here – illness, death, work commitments, parents, boilers – you’ll be able to come up with all sorts of untrue good reasons. You might even be believed.
• Adopt a slightly dizzy persona – pretend it’s beyond you to be on time or to know where you’re supposed to be at what time. Then when a better offer comes along you’re home and dry - ‘you know what I’m like – memory like a sieve…’ It might be that people find this to be one of the funny, charming things about you. Or not.
• Let it be known how busy and important you are – no one minds busy and important people cancelling things. Do they?

Going with The Lure of the Better Offer seems to work well for many people, particularly if they mix with like minded people.

The second option is to adopt The Doctrine of the Better Offer. Sounds heavy but actually, it’s dead easy:-

• Think before you accept an invitation or make an arrangement.
• Decline invitations that clash.
• SHOW UP!! Simply do what you said you would.
• Having shown up, be in the moment. Decide to enjoy what you are doing.

The Doctrine of the Better Offer may cost you more on a superficial level but it has several big advantages. It certainly increases your gravitas and authenticity. It makes life less complicated. And, perhaps most importantly, it makes taking responsibility the norm. And as anyone interested in personal development will eventually realize, taking responsibility is probably the single most important ingredient in moving forwards, both personally and professionally.

My boiler broke down a few weeks ago and was out of action for eight days, in the middle of the cold snap. Thank goodness it's fixed now and, once again, I have a warm and toasty house.

The company who carried out the repair did a good job. They only fell short in terms of communication. Not only did they fail to reply to my calls for updates on when the job would be finished, they also ignored an email bringing this to their attention. I allowed myself to become angrier and angrier.

Angry though I was, being ignored by a service provider was actually very interesting for me; I sometimes work with customer-service staff, helping them to improve their communication skills. I was now living a text book example of how not to treat a customer. It got worse. Although my boiler was now fixed, I was uncomfortable that my (polite) email of complaint had been blatantly ignored so I called the person concerned. Again, no answer.

By the time I finally spoke to someone I was ready to burst.

The person I spoke to defused the situation beautifully. She listened to me carefully, she took on board what I was saying and she apologised. I was placated.

It's surprising how many people do not have the skills to deal with an angry customer. Without doubt, equipping staff with a few powerful tools (one of which is 'sorry') can yield very positive results. I shall use the example of my broken boiler in a customer care training I'm taking at a firm in the City next month.

I've started messaging members of my Facebook group two or three times a week with a short, inspirational message. Generally a one liner and usually a quotation.

It was lovely to get feedback last week about a particular quote -

'Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.'
Helen Keller

A group member (also a dear friend) was about to go into an important meeting when this message came through. The message really helped to strengthen his performance in this meeting. Good! That's what I send the messages out for.

If you'd like to receive regular, inspirational messages, there's a link to my Facebook group on the first page of my website. Join today.

I had a very productive session with my first client this morning and we touched on the topic of role models. We all know what a role model is, but how often do we use our own role models to full effect? In fact - how do you use a role model?

It's simple. When you come up against a challenging situation, big or small, ask yourself 'What would my chosen role model do right now?' The chances are, if you listen, you're going to get a useful answer.

You can have as many role models as you like and can have a different one for any situation you encounter.

One more thing. When you're pondering who your role models are, remember that you're someone's role model yourself...

I've not blogged for a while due to a busy time with work and, if I'm honest, a good portion of procrastination. I decided this morning, on the last day of Christmas that it's time to start again.

After sitting in my study looking for inspiration for twenty minutes, I remembered a tried and tested tool:- JUST DO IT!! So that's what I did. I just started writing. And although I'm not expecting this particular entry to go down in history, the message it contains is useful and valid - I just did it. No fuss, no drama.

Procrastination is a recurring theme for many people. Helping clients to let go of procrastination (using various techniques) is a significant and fulfilling part of my job. It also drives them towards achieving the amazing results they're looking for.

I've finally learned how to download applications or 'apps' onto my iphone 4. I mentioned a few weeks ago to friends in my local cafe that I hadn't yet got the hang of how to do this. To be honest, I was quite happy just using the ones that came with the phone. This morning, however, there were looks of incredulity from the same group of friends when I mentioned that I still didn't know how to download apps.

They all buzzed into action. Rachel reset my itunes password for me (I really had tried). Martin re-entered my debit card details (tutting and rolling eyes). Mitchell chimed in where ever he felt appropriate - the final comment being 'you couldn't Life Coach yourself into downloading apps then - could you?'

I thought about this and had a sip of my delicious skinny latte. I replied, rather grandly, that one of the foundations of all coaching is BEING RESOURCEFUL. And it's true! I'm lucky enough to have clever friends, a resource I brazenly took advantage of this morning.

So yes - in a round about way, I really did Life Coach new apps onto my phone.

A good way of falling asleep at night is to concentrate on your breathing. I often pass on this tip to clients.

Last night, I awoke at around 2am. My mind was active so I started concentrating on my breathing. I could just feel this tried and tested technique beginning to take effect when my left nostril started to gently whistle. I tried to ignore it. It got worse, which made me cross. I ended up wide awake, drinking camomile tea in the kitchen at 2.30.

'Concentrate on your breathing', indeed.

I forgot my niece's fourth birthday yesterday. Completely forgot it. This came to light today during a telephone conversation with my sister and I immediately felt a light cloud of guilt hovering above me.

I duly asked to speak to Imogen. She is (shall we say) a spirited child and very funny. "WHERE'S MY CARD AND PRESENT?!!!" she bellowed, from Leicestershire.

Realising that Imogen was far from crushed at her Uncle's poor memory, said cloud of guilt quickly dissipated. I will, however, make extra sure that I remember her birthday next year.

A lot of my work as a coach involves getting people to see the bigger picture. It's easy to get bogged down in detail and not pay enough attention to the outcome you're looking for. I've had to remind myself of this when considering whether or not to wear a cycle helmet on the new hire bikes in London that I've become so fond of.

The outcome any cyclist wants when considering a helmet is to be as safe as possible on the road. Common sense tells us that that helmets do offer a level of protection.

Working back from this desired outcome of optimum safety on the road, it is interesting that so many cyclists take so many ridiculous risks even if they are proudly wearing a cycling helmet. Many go through red lights as a matter of course. Many do not indicate. Lots overtake on the inside (left) of cars, lorries and buses. Some wear headphones and talk on the phone while riding along busy roads. Others ride on pavements and the wrong way up one-way streets - yes, probably wearing a helmet.

If many of these cyclists were to remind themselves why they're actually wearing a helmet, they would probably take far fewer unnecessary risks leading to optimum safety.

Thinking about the bigger picture in different situations, I often find that clients will focus on one aspect of a solution. Encouraging them to think more broadly while focussing on desired outcomes often leads to amazing results.

My sister gave me a household tip this week, which is very useful in itself and can also be transferred to non-household tasks.

'Land' your laundry.

When you've done a load of washing, dry it, fold it and put it away before starting another load. This prevents the dreaded back-log of folding and putting away - simple but very effective.

I'm going to start doing the same with my paperwork. I've spent years opening envelopes (three weeks worth) and then putting the contents into neat piles and leaving them for another three weeks. Or more. Now, the plan is to file paperwork immediately, even if it's in the bin.

I'm just wondering if this 'landing' idea can be used anywhere else. I'll report back.

I cycled in London for years. It was quick, fun, convenient, kept me fit and the list could go on. The only trouble was that my bikes used to get pinched on a fairly regular basis. Usually it was my fault and I hadn't secured it properly. About four years ago, I decided that enough was enough when one was stolen out of the garden shed. I'd also had enough of the laborious chaining up business so have been walking and taking the bus ever since, which I've enjoyed.

That was until London's new bike hire scheme arrived. I love it. There's a hire point two minutes from my front door and they're also dotted around at convenient points all over London. The bikes are solid and easy to ride and I don't need to worry about maintenance. It's also very inexpensive.

So I'm falling in love with the cycling experience all over again. Thank you London!

I saw a pigeon being run over last night. It was horrible. It was run over once and it's wings were still flapping afterwards. Then it was run over again. This time only one wing was flapping. A kind motorist then took aim and flattened the poor creature, it's body by now stuck onto said motorists back wheel.

Why did I watch with such morbid fascination? I could easily have looked away.

I've been looking for a clever coaching perspective on the whole thing, but nothing has come to me.

Perhaps is was nothing more than that - morbid fascination.

It's no secret that technology is not really my thing. Thinking about it makes me hot. Reading about it makes me itch. Talking about it makes me mumble and gives me a headache.

So I'm feeling rather pleased with myself today, after ordering my first webcam. It took three minutes to order, cost twenty-odd pounds and will be here in three days.

I'll now be offering coaching via Skype and will try to dispense with my limiting beliefs surrounding technology.

I grew up with The Glad Game.

All you have to do to play is count up some of the the things you have to be glad about. It's a tool that must have been around since the dawn of time in one form or another and has now been adopted by coaches all over the world. Although it probably has many different names, it has one purpose - to raise the spirit.

Try it.

It's very effective!

You will always miss out on 100% of the things you don't show up for.

That's all.

I've been spending a lot of time tending my garden recently and it's it's paid huge dividends - it looks lovely! The black bamboo in one of the planting pockets has suddenly had a massive growth spurt. Until now the height of the bamboo might have been eight or nine feet - the shoots that have come up in recent weeks are already twenty feet high. It's completely changed the perspective and feel of the garden .

It's a funny thing, perspective. All about seeing things from a different viewpoint and that's what a lot of my work is about. One of the greatest joys for me is when a client has a moment of realisation - see's something from a different perspective - and can use it to move forwards with energy and determination. It's actually what makes a classic coaching success story.

I go running about twice a week. Ok, quite often once a week. Do I like it? I mean actually enjoy it? Maybe in a round about way I do, at least some of the time. I think I've now discovered a way of making the experience better.

Today I was running over Blackfriars Bridge and I had a realisation. Running becomes a much better experience if you stay firmly in the moment. Concentrate on surroundings, positive things about current physical state - anything just as long as it's in the present. Thinking about how far you've run, how much further you have to go, how you'll feel in ten minutes will put any runner at a disadvantage.

It's true to say that this idea is highly transferable. Many people spend large portions of their time worrying about the future and fretting about the past in a way that serves no real purpose. I realise that this sounds like a sweeping statement. However, I often work with clients on being in the present and it generally leads to impressive results in all sorts of areas.

The area it's helped me has been with my running and I'm hoping I'll be ready for my charity run on Bank Holiday Monday. All donations will be very much appreciated - www.original.justgiving.com/teamhewsonpurdy

I was listening to Womans Hour yesterday. I was driving up the M1 to see my Pa in Warwickshire and the radio makes these journeys much more enjoyable.

There was an item about assisted conception which was talking about a shortage of donor sperm and eggs. What I felt the item lacked was a true acknowledgement of what a big deal sperm/egg donation actually is. It just seemed to suggest 'people want babies, more gametes are needed, something must be done', and was weighted very heavily towards the viewpoint of prospective parents.

Gametes are not like blood or organs. They are the essence of an individual and I know many people who could not bear the idea of their biological child being brought up by a stranger. Therefore, surely a shortage of donor gametes is to be expected and is entirely appropriate. Does anyone really want to live in a world where they are freely available commodities?

Procrastination is very common. It's a big factor in a lot of the coaching I do with clients. It gets in the way, it holds people back and it stops hoards of people from achieving their true potential.

I have to confess that I, too, procrastinate on occasions and have an excellent example to share today.

National Insurance. I had a very small issue to sort out with mine. Whenever I thought about it, complicated forms, difficult sums and stern sounding voices came to mind. Admittedly, fairly low grade anxieties but certainly enough to make me push the whole thing to the back of my mind. Again. And again. And again.

Whenever I've thought about it I felt a vague feeling of discomfort. On occasions I've woken up in the night thinking about it. Although I couldn't say how much time I've spent not sorting this out, it certainly adds up.

Today I bit the bullet and made the phone call to the National Insurance man. The issue was resolved in three and a half minutes.

Enough said.

I went for a pretty substantial run with my friend David on Saturday. We starded at Clerkenwell, got to the north side of Blackfriars Bridge, ran along the Embankment to Westminster Bridge then back along the Southbank to Blackfriars Bridge. It was lovely and a route I'd recommend to anyone.

I enjoyed the post-run buzz afterwards (probably a mixture of smugness and endorphines) but to be honest, I'm still feeling pretty exhausted from it two days later. And I ACHE!

What's going on?

I'll tell you what going on - I didn't warm up properly, didn't stretch properly and didn't get enough rest afterwards. All text-book mistakes and as a former Personal Trainer, I should know better. I'm not sure why I'd think I am exempt from these very basic rules of exercise but yes - warming up is cool.

If you ever want to change your state of mind, a simple tool is to simply act as if. If you're feeling sad, act as if you're happy. If you're feeling tired, act as if you're energetic. If you're disappointed, act as if you're pleased.

Just do it and see what happens. You'll notice a shift in your mood within minutes.

Go on! Try it!

I often get moments of inspiration, insight and resolution when I'm having my morning coffee in Sobo on Tower bridge Road (www.sobogallery.co.uk) and this morning was no exception.

I was just leaving when Alan, who I'm on 'hello' terms with said 'See you soon Stephen'. The tone of his goodbye, I felt, demanded eye contact but because I had already walked past him when he issued it, I just said a breezy goodbye without looking. It could well be that Alan hasn't given the matter a second thought and I hope that's the case. I, however, felt vaguely uneasy about it as soon as I left the shop and I began contemplating the importance and the power of eye contact.

Customer-care trainings always stress the importance of eye contact and it adds meaning to the special occasion tradition of clinking of glasses. A smile from a random stranger in the street has the power to raise the spirit and people who cannot meet your eye are often perceived as shifty.

Some eye contact is second nature to nearly everyone. It could also be that nearly everyone could make more use of eye contact and that it is actually a very useful tool.

It's spread. My household organising bug I mean. And it all started with the sock drawer.

The food cupboards are now reasonably organised. The contents of cupboard under the sink have been thoroughly edited and tidied. And as for the garden. It's tidier and more manicured than it's ever been. My study is next on the list and I'm actually looking forward to sorting it out.

My point here, again, is baby steps. So if you want your life in general to be more organised, start with your sock drawer and see what happens.

I've decided to resurrect my Twitter account. I set it up last year and used it for about three and a half days. Then I gave up. I didn't really understand it and, if I'm honest, I still don't. However, people do seem to be using it as a business tool so I've decided to tweet a pearl of wisdom every day and see how many follower I get. I've set up a link from the website. Here goes...

I've cleaned out my sock drawer. I decided that something needed to be done with it after finding a receipt in there from 2006, an obsolete phone charger, three Lego bricks and and infants soother. There was much more and all of this rubbish was, literally, tied up with my socks. So I emptied the entire drawer onto my bed and made sure I only put decent pairs of socks into the drawer. Such a simple task which took four minutes and one that I've put off for years - my sock drawer now represents an organised, functional life.

This got me thinking - in coaching we often talk about replication. If you're doing something in a certain way in one part of your life, the chances are you'll be doing something similar in another area. Dare I check the rest of my drawers and cupboards to assess how neat/tidy/organised they are?

Actually, I didn't need to. I knew that virtually every storage space was moderately disorganised - everything from food cupboards to airing cupboard to cutlery drawer. I also knew that this was easy enough to put right.

Anyway, I'm now on a roll and will report back with progress in a few days.

I listened to entrepreneur Duncan Ballantyne on Desert Island Discs this morning. What a charming man! Unassuming, happy, kind, self-deprecating. For anyone who doesn't know who he is, Mr Ballantyne has a self-made fortune of several hundred million pounds and gained a level of fame on The Lion's Den. Despite this, his values system appears to be rooted firmly in family and he seems to be remarkably un-spoiled by his success. Ok, it was only forty-five minutes. He did, however, come across really well and I think he's probably a great role-model on all sorts of levels.

Go and listen to him on the Radio 4 website.

It's interesting how many people I come across in my job who have a problem saying 'no'. It tends to be a big factor in work/life balance factors - saying 'no' to one more drink or an extra assignment at work could both have a remarkable effect on quality of life.

So if you find yourself doing too many things that you don't really want to be doing and you don't really know how to say no, what's the answer? I recently gave a client who virtually never said 'no' a baby-steps strategy. She had to say 'no' to a request just once every day (in her case it work related). I got her to model her delivery on someone she knows who has absolutely no problem in saying 'no'.

After three short weeks her work load is much more manageable. All down to one little word.

I caught up for lunch with my friend Sarah Young today. Sarah was the distant cousin of my friend Yvonne, who passed away nearly two years ago following a series of strokes. Today was one of the first times that Sarah and I spent time alone together and it was fun, finding our own level and watching how our interaction has changed since the passing of Yvonne, who was in her 80's.

Sarah also works in personal developement and her company is called Rambutan (http://www.rambutan.biz). We went to an Italian restaurant on the Southbank for lunch and came up with one or two pearls of wisdom to use with clients and in workshops and talked about work in general. It's always good to exchange ideas and I look forward to seeing Sarah again soon.