I always admired Mo Mowlam. Like most people, I only ever saw her on the news or current affairs programmes but she always struck me as gutsy, clever and fun.

Julie Walters' portrayal of her on the Channel 4 drama 'Mo' last week confirmed all the positive thoughts I'd had about this remarkable lady. And if ever there was a story of great good coming out of real challenge, this was it.

In a nutshell, Mo Mowlam moved the peace process in Northern Ireland forwards with charisma, amazing political acumen and charming lack of inhibition. The brain tumour, which ultimately killed her, would have caused a significant personality shift, in particular her lack of inhibition. How ironic that this might have been the vital ingredient with the 'x' factor that helped to end the troubles.

I'll use the story of Mo Mowlem with my clients. We can never know what good will come out of any challenging situation. Clearly Mo was unwittingly exactly where she needed to be to effect breathtaking change.

Arrived in Jamiaca yesterday - the sun is shining and London seems a world away. Time for me to de-clutter my head and get a tan.

I've been a huge fan of Radio 4 for many years now and rarely miss an episode of The Archers. I even post messages on The Archers Message Boards, which shows real dedication.

A programme that will appeal to anyone interested in coaching or personal development is All in the Mind. It goes out at 9pm on Tuesday and 4.30pm on Wednesday and episodes are available on the BBC iplayer. Two recent programmes of particular interest include one which asks whether we can be taught how to be happy (or happier) and another one about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Regarding CBT - I'd recommend it to anyone, which is why I found this programme so interesting.

The programme about teaching people how to be happy passed on a tool that I use with some of my clients and it works as follows. Before going to sleep at night write down three things that have gone well. It doesn't matter what the three things are. Could be a pleasant conversation with your neighbour, a walk in the park or a successful business transaction. Get into the habit of doing this. Your happiness levels will increase. Try it. It works.

Can't quite believe that I'm posting a SECOND entry about the X Factor, but there you go.

I felt a bit ashamed after watching it last night. John and Edward Grimes were voted off - and I was delighted. More than that, I felt a surge of adrenalin through my body while Danni Minogue was making her mind up and then a wave of elation when she said she was sending them home. It was when I saw their crestfallen faces that I felt ashamed.

On a scale of one to ten, the shame that I felt was probably only about two but it's been interesting to ask myself where it came from. Am I a wicked person? Do I really care (really?) who wins the X Factor? Do I need to get out more on a Saturday night?

I've not come up with a definitive answer yet but will be looking out for my reactions next time I'm watching. For the record, think Stacey should win.

Last night I went out for dinner with friends to an Argentinian steak house. Excellent food and good company though thanks to an open flame grill, the restaurant was too hot. Afterwards we walked down the road to a bar/restaurant called Village East on Bermondsey Street. It's a stylish place and there's always a good atmosphere with a fun mix of people. Last night we bumped into some friends there which made it extra special and we didn't leave until after 2am.

I often tell visitors to London that the city is simply lots of small villages stuck together. That means villages with local shops, restaurants and bars. Feeling a sense of community, for me, is a very positive thing and I realised last night that this can be enhanced by using local services and leisure facilities just a little bit more. It also saves a small fortune on taxis.

Watch out for more entries from me about the Bermondsey/Borough/Elephant area.

I'm feeling delicate this morning, following a spectacular birthday party last night for my friend Niko's birthday. It was a masked ball - you weren't allowed in without a mask and everyone kept them on for the first couple of hours. The effort that everyone made with their costumes was one of the things that made it an amazing party. There was an impressive array of Viennese (or should that be Venetian) masks, cowboys, bank robbers and at least a dozen eighteenth century dandies, complete with powdered wigs and knicker bockers. Conversely, there was a couple wearing Jedward masks - clearly there's no escaping those two at the moment.

I was wearing eye make up and an OTT feathery Phantom mask. Imagine my surprise when I was approached about some life coaching. Although I often get new clients in social situations, it didn't occur to be that I'd be having an in depth conversation about NLP from behind a mask. Something must have been shining through - we start working together on Tuesday - not a mask in sight!

Gordon Brown is in trouble, in a most unexpected way. He sent a hand-written letter of condolence to the mother of Jamie Janes of the 1st Battalion Grenadier Guards, who died in action on 5th October. Clearly this was meant as a kind and thoughtful gesture, possibly motivated by the fact that Mr Brown knows what it is to lose a child.

The unfortunate thing is that the letter appeared to spell Jamie's name incorrectly, was badly written and contained spelling mistakes. Mrs Janes, who must be in agony at the loss of the son, has taken offence at this. Every newspaper in the land is now reporting the story and a telephone conversation between the PM and Mrs Janes can be listened to online.

This is perhaps a battle that Mr Brown was never going to win. A printed letter could easily have been judged disrespectful. Sending no letter at all would have been worse. So, Mr Brown, with his rubbish eyesight, appalling handwriting and over-full schedule chose to send a handwritten note to Jamie's mother. In this particular case, he got it wrong. That said, other families who have lost a son will have drawn great comfort from a handwritten letter from the PM, regardless of spelling and handwriting.

The press need to give Gordon Brown and Jacqui Janes a break on this one. Brown was obviously trying to do the right thing. Mrs Janes is beside herself with grief. No one is going to benefit from keeping this story in the headlines, least of all Jacqui Janes and her family.

I went to a birthday party on Saturday night at Anne's house in Chiswick. It was her mother Betty's birthday and a comfortable mix of family and friends were invited. There was a couple there who I decided a couple of years ago that I don't like much. It's never been a big deal and Anne knew about it - really it was just a case of getting off on the wrong foot and me choosing to take against them.

During a text exchange last week with Anne the subject came up and she sent me the following message:-

'Coach yrself on 2nd chances 4 people!'

This was a throw-away comment from Anne, who has no interest in coaching or the field of personal development. However, it did make me think. I have an excellent reputation as a coach but have formed a negative opinion about a couple and I have not considered reviewing this opinion. Is that an evolved way to carry on? Does it demonstrate emotional intelligence? Are there other people who deserve a second chance from me?

It took minimal effort from me to be nice and make things right between us. It also made the party more enjoyable. I'm going to try this second chance lark again soon. Give it a go - it's a good thing!

Last night turned out to be very memorable. I met up with my friend Mark Watty at Momo, just off Regent Street. Momo is a Morrocan restaurant with a very atmospheric tea room attached to it. It was lovely - all squishy cushions and flickery lanterns and a great place to catch up. We had tickets for the Michael Fienstein show - a one night only performance at the Palladium. I was still suffering slightly from the effects of the Halloween party when the curtain went up. Fienstein is a great entertainer but I have to confess to wondering if I was going to enjoy two and a half hours of him.

Anyway, he sang a few numbers and then after twenty minutes or so, his guest John Barrowman took to the stage. Barrowman was sensational. There's no other word for it. He looked great, sounded amazing and his energy was infectious - he's a very funny guy anyway and this came across effortlessly. At the interval, Mark and I made a beeline for the bar and bumped into Barrowman's partner Scott (I know Scott socially) who told us that that John had finished and they were about to leave for Wales or somewhere. How disappointing! - we were hoping for a couple more numbers at least. We ordered a couple of those cute little bottles of champagne (very thirsty) and the feeling was, how brave/generous/whatever of Fienstein to have Barrowman on as a guest - talk about having someone steal your thunder!

Fienstein clearly had a game plan though. He came back after the interval and absolutely set the place alight - obviously he'd been pacing himself and he saved the best of his performance until the second half. If he, in any way, felt that he was taking a gamble by sharing the limelight with Barrowman, the gamble paid off big time. It was a fabulous show and you left the theatre feeling that Fienstein, apart from being an amazing performer, is probably a very nice guy who's comfortable in his own skin.

I received a text a couple of weeks ago inviting me to a Halloween Party in West Norwood. The invitation came from a friend from many years ago called Tony. He'd also invited me last year and I was unable to go so I decided to make a particular effort to go this year. The thing is, I arrived without having any expectations or preconceived ideas about how the party would turn out. I've been very busy for one thing and also because I didn't know anyone else who was going, didn't have anyone to discuss it with.

It was a really good party. Had a great time and met some lovely people, most of whom were in costume (I'll wear one next year, if I'm invited back). I'm pretty sure that my lack of expectation before the party made it an even better experience. There's a saying - 'expectations reduce joy'. Although it would be a funny old world if none of us had any expectations, it's probably true that if we managed our expectations better, we might up the levels of joy we experience in the world.

I'm going to get a beer from the fridge now - no expectations what ever.

I met Doug in about 1996 before he went back to the States. I always really liked him and our friendship had several layers (go figure). The main thing was that we always 'got' one another and shared many values, a sense of humour and some good times. We stayed in touch for a while after he went back to LA and I knew that his partner was very ill. I was very sorry when I thought we'd lost touch. I think an email address stopped working or something - one of those things that happens in this age of instant communication.

Today, thanks to Facebook, I'm grinning ear to ear. I happened to search for him, expecting 1,748 Doug Macdonalds to appear on my screen. Guess what!! MY Doug was right at the top of the list. I poked him. I've messaged him. And best of all, we've already spoken on the phone. Now he's poked me back too (Facebook users will understand this reference). The amazing thing is that although we have sooooo much catching up to do, it really doesn't matter. More than a decade disappeared and I realised that even though we've been out of touch, all that time we've been there for one another.

Right now, I feel really good about technology.

Like many people up and down the country, I've been glued to the tv on Saturday nights watching The X Factor. One of the judges, Cheryl Cole, really impressed me last night. She accepted responsibility for choosing a song which proved to be too big for sixteen year old Lloyd Daniels (I actually thought he was rather good). She didn't try to justify herself or blame anyone else - she simply said 'I'd like to accept responsibility for this'. This simple act probably lead to enough of the public voting for Lloyd for him to stay in the competition. Even Simon Cowell was humbled and Cheryl seemed to have everyone on-side.

One of the biggest breakthroughs people get in their personal development coaching with me is learning the power of taking responsibility. Clearly, Cheryl Cole learned this at a very young age. I'm sure it must have contributed towards the success she is now enjoying. Good for her!

My central heating has broken. It's the pump to be precise, and some valve or other. I've barely thought about the system for eight years when it last went wrong. Of course, had I thought about it and got chemicals put into the system regularly and had the boiler serviced every year etc, it might not have broken down - who knows?. Would have, should have, could have. Let's see if I learn from this expensive lesson in the future.

In the meantime, the house is feeling decidedly chilly and we're rediscovering the charm and comfort of woolly jumpers and pyjamas.

The passing of Stephen Gately brings back memories of my partner, Martin Horton, who died in 1991. He was only 30 but at the time I remember taking comfort in the fact that he'd reached his 30's. I naively thought, as a twenty something, that 30 was reasonably old. Now I realise just how young 30 is - and so is 33 which was the age of Stephen Gately.

For me, the passing of the years has brought an acceptance that Martin was supposed to be here for a short time. If he was meant to live until his 80's, he would have done. Obviously, I speak with a voice that's had eighteen years (almost to the day) to come to terms with losing such a young person but bitter experience does tell me that calm acceptance is the only real way forwards. I've played every What If game there is - 'what might we have been doing now?', 'how old would he have been now?', 'where would we be living now?' What If games are a part of the grieving process and maybe they serve a valuable purpose. Eventually though, they will have to give way to quiet, calm acceptance.

I sincerely hope that Stephen Gately's family, friends and partner are able to move forwards and achieve peace of mind.

I'm revamping my website. The words are not flowing as quickly as I'd like but I'm making progress and it's been great exercise for my poor brain.

The walk was amazing and actually quite surreal. While I can't pretend that I've never stayed up all night, this really was a new experience. The walk was affiliated with Open House London and enabled walkers to visit various iconic buildings en route. The first was City Hall at 8pm, followed by a ride on the London Eye. We arrived at Fulham Palace around 3am (tea has never tasted so good) and got to Battersea Power Station at around 5am. This was amazing - a real privilidge to be able to go inside and see the fantastic light and music installation. We arrived back at Potters Fields near Tower Bridge at 7am. I walked an extra mile to get home and had the best bath of my life!

I'm looking forward to doing a sponsored walk around London tomorrow night, in aid of Maggie's Cancer Caring Centre's. Twenty miles, at least eight hours, six team members and two thousand other walkers. It's going to be an experience! I've been raising money too and am getting close to my target. What's been very positive in raising funds has been hearing snippets from donors about people they've lost to cancer. These snippets have not been about the way their loved ones passed, simply memories of them as they always were - I guess how we all want to be remembered.

If anyone would like to sponsor me (small amounts welcome), the link to my groups Just Giving page is http://www.justgiving.com/petes-posse. I'll tell you about my sore feet in my next posting - thanks for all donations.

I spent a very nice weekend with my sister, Louise. We spent lots of easy time together, eating, talking and playing with the children. On Saturday we went to the supermarket and when we'd finished there Louise said that she was going to get a couple of lottery tickets. 'Very Jeremy Kyle!', I said, dryly - only half joking. Louise returned with a scratch card for each of us - and I won four pounds!! 'Let's see if you collect the four pounds or get four scratch cards', said Louise, gleefully - 'that would be sooooo Jeremy Kyle!' I have to be honest and admit that (for a nano-second) I considered getting four more scratch cards. Although I got the cash, it was an interesting insight into how an addiction to gambling might start - an addiction not reserved for Jeremy Kyle viewers! Anyway, said sister took great delight in photographing me collecting my winnings - enough to kill any post win buzz.

I've been painting for the last couple of days. Not a watercolour or anything - painting the woodwork in my living room. Farrow & Ball fawn is the colour, same as the walls.

Gives you lots of time to think, this painting lark. And it's actually very relaxing. Very pleased that I moved on from thinking that it would be a boring job - it's been a job that's allowed me lots of quiet reflection and I've really enjoyed it.

I've been off colour for the last couple of weeks. Nothing major and some of it self-inflicted but a vague chesty thing and a bit of a tummy thing too. It didn't stop me from having a great time in Barcelona or from enjoying my birthday party on Sunday but has been humming away quietly in the background. Today, however, I woke up on top form. I feel great - and I realised that this is how I usually feel. Time for me to start appreciating the good health that I generally enjoy! Do I sometimes take it for granted?

So, it's off to the gym for me, this afternoon. I'm a member at Soho Gyms where I worked as a Personal Trainer for a number of years. I'm going to do my usual walk from my house in SE1 to the gym in Covent Garden. Follow that with an intensive workout and coffee with a friend and I've got myself a great afternoon - fully appreciated!

I've been procrastinating. Been intending to update my blog ever since I got back from Barcelona on Tuesday - thought I'd better just log on and do it.

It's ironic really, lots of clients talk to me about procrastination. I often talk to client about baby steps as a way out of a procrastinating state. So this very short entry (on my birthday) is a baby step towards a more substantial entry tomorrow.

I arrived here in Barcelona on Tuesday afternoon and am staying with a good friend. I´ve known Errol for about fifteen years and we always have a lot of fun together. He´s an excellent host and I really want to be a good guest. A group of us went to the waterpark near Barcelona yesterday and had an amazing time. Lazy afternoon on the beach today.

Anyway, I asked the members of my Facebook group (Stephen Hewson´s Coaching Forum) to post tips on how to be a good houseguest. Acutally, I think I´m a pretty good houseguest (I would!!) but know that I probably sometimes get it wrong. I will be checking back for new posts on the groups 'wall' to see if there are any large gaps or voids in this area of my experience or human understanding.

If you´d like to join the Facebook group it´s called Stephen Hewson´s Coaching Forum. New members are very welcome!

I had a very busy start to the week with my mother, sister and her toddler and baby and dog to stay. We had a lovely time which included a dinner party on Monday night with a colleague of mine, trips to the park and coffee in the local cafe, Sobo (www.sobogallery.co.uk).

Whenever there's a group of people, whether its family, friend or workmates, there's going to be an exchange of ideas. This morning, while I was following one of my mother's pearls of wisdom (something about bleach and dishcloths) I realised how easy it is to ignore or overlook really useful advice. However open minded we like to think we are, we all have our routines, habits and models of the world and sometimes it's difficult to deviate from these.

I'm going to make use of this revelation by listening to people more. If I'm going to be a know it all, I might as well be good at it.

Do you ever wake up in the night and feel as though your imagination has gone into overdrive? Thoughts just keep on going round and round and as soon as you get rid of one another replaces it. Here's what to do:-

1. Leave a pad and pencil next to your bed. Just do it.
2. If you wake up and start thinking, write the thought down and decide to deal with whatever it is the next day.
3. You'll find that that particular thought disappears - exactly as if the thought that was in your head has literally been transferred onto paper.
4. If another thought arrives, do the same thing. You'll soon find that your head is clear and you can go back to sleep.

For more sleeping well tips go to my Facebook Group, Stephen Hewson's Coaching Blog.

My father and step-mother have been staying with me this week. We've had a lovely time. Yesterday Dad and I went to the London Dungeon. I'd not been for years, he'd never been and it seemed like a fun idea. It didn't even occur to me that we might have to wait in a queue. I honestly thought that we would simply arrive and stroll in - I'm not sure whether it was a sign of good old-fashioned optimism or plain naivity. We queued for two hours. Might even have been two and a half. And I'll tell you something else - we didn't moan about it once. We just did it. Had nice chats, had an ice cream, reflected on the fact that we were the only two people there not accompanying children or teenagers. I was actually rather proud of us - there were plenty of people there getting bad tempered and others pulling the most extraordinary faces, but not us!

This two hour-plus episode served to remind me that being negative about anything rarely serves a useful purpose. Things don't always go according to plan and sometimes you just have to get on with it and keep smiling.

If you're wondering if it was worth the wait - yes it was - we really enjoyed it!

Following the death of my dear friend Michael, I received the following email:-

Darling S - we were so sorry to hear about Michael's very speedy demise and death. You told us he wasn't well but it seems that he enjoyed reasonable health until pretty near the end of his life. He certainly seemed both engaged and happy on the sunny day when we all met at NO. You will be missing a good friend and we send you our heartfelt sympathies. I know that J forwarded requested photo to you. All love and again we are very sorry to hear your sad sad news. xx Derek

The interesting thing for me has been that having ones grief acknowledged really does help. Michael's passing has affected me deeply but I've always been a person to come to terms with these things in a private way. Someone saying 'we're thinking of you' and 'we're so sorry' is, quite simply, very comforting.

Although I don't consider it part of my remit as a coach to be too directive, I would ask everyone reading this to examine how they respond to hearing that a friend has lost someone. Doubtless many will react like Derek did in his email to me. Others might be too embarrassed/busy to say anything. For myself, I'm going to up the stakes with empathy and really try to understand how a bereaved person might be feeling and act accordingly.

For years I got up in the night. I'd wake at about 3am, spend 10 or 15 minutes trying to pretend I didn't need the loo, decide I did need the loo, get up and wee then go back to bed. This process probably took 25 minutes from beginning to end and was absolutely predictable.

That's all changed now - I very rarely get up in the night and usually sleep right through. What am I doing differently? It's sooooooooo simple! I (generally) make sure that I've finished all my liquids for the day by 6pm. IT WORKS!! I now feel quite silly that I never made the connection before and would rate my sleep at 8 or 9 out of ten instead of 7-ish. The knock on effect has been pretty remarkable too.

So, if you get up most nights to go to the loo, stop drinking your liquids by 6pm. Just give it a go and see what happens. I'd love to hear of any success stories!

Most of the people I've spoken to today saw at least part of the Michael Jackson Memorial Concert on tv yesterday. Everyone seems to have an opinion on him, his life, the Memorial Concert. There's certainly plenty of fodder to form an opinion about! The thing that no one could fail to notice was the positive spin that's been put on Jackson and his life - it's almost as if the controversy that's blighted him in so many ways in recent years never existed.

What might we be able to learn from this, looking at the bigger picture? For me, I guess there's something about the power of the positive. I very much like the idea that the positive components of my life ultimately wield much more power than the negatives. We can't yet know how the history books will treat Jackson but yesterday's spectacle was, quite simply, extraordinary!

I met up with Caroline again today - wow, has she made progress since 9th June. She's acted upon everything we discussed in a very positive way and already comes across as much more focussed (amongst other tasks, I had asked her to find out about her MP, read The Independent twice a week and listen to the Today programme on Radio 4). Digesting the content of our last session and completing the assigned tasks have really moved her forwards and there's now a definite spark in her, which is very attractive.

So, can listening to a different radio station (etc) REALLY induce such a profound change? Absolutely - the tasks are a small but important part of a much bigger process of change. It could be said that small, practical tasks work from the outside, moving inwards. Other coaching methodology starts from within and grows outwards.

The fact is, Caroline is hungry to get out of her rut - her improved focus will give her a sharper view of the world and what she wants from it. When someone knows what they WANT, the fun begins. I'm very much looking forward to watching Caroline's journey.

Nancy, who I've been coaching for a few months, told me this week that she's worried about an upcoming wedding. An ex boyfriend will be there and Nancy is worried that she'll fall under his spell again - "he has some sort of power over me", she said. I asked her how using those particular words was likely to serve her, given that she has certainly moved on in her life since breaking up with him. The answer that we eventually came up with was, to SAY "he has some sort of power over me" is probably GIVING him some sort of power. We set a Resource Anchor (Empowerment) for Nancy to use at the wedding if she needs it and then spent some time discussing language patterns.

Language patterns really do affect the way we feel and behave. "We've had a terrible journey". "I can't stand Tuesdays". "That child's a little monster!" "I'm not bad". "The supermarket was an absolute nightmare today". All of these statements, along with hundreds of others we hear every day, could be replaced with much more positive ones. The world would probably be a markedly different place if this were to happen.