I met Doug in about 1996 before he went back to the States. I always really liked him and our friendship had several layers (go figure). The main thing was that we always 'got' one another and shared many values, a sense of humour and some good times. We stayed in touch for a while after he went back to LA and I knew that his partner was very ill. I was very sorry when I thought we'd lost touch. I think an email address stopped working or something - one of those things that happens in this age of instant communication.

Today, thanks to Facebook, I'm grinning ear to ear. I happened to search for him, expecting 1,748 Doug Macdonalds to appear on my screen. Guess what!! MY Doug was right at the top of the list. I poked him. I've messaged him. And best of all, we've already spoken on the phone. Now he's poked me back too (Facebook users will understand this reference). The amazing thing is that although we have sooooo much catching up to do, it really doesn't matter. More than a decade disappeared and I realised that even though we've been out of touch, all that time we've been there for one another.

Right now, I feel really good about technology.

Like many people up and down the country, I've been glued to the tv on Saturday nights watching The X Factor. One of the judges, Cheryl Cole, really impressed me last night. She accepted responsibility for choosing a song which proved to be too big for sixteen year old Lloyd Daniels (I actually thought he was rather good). She didn't try to justify herself or blame anyone else - she simply said 'I'd like to accept responsibility for this'. This simple act probably lead to enough of the public voting for Lloyd for him to stay in the competition. Even Simon Cowell was humbled and Cheryl seemed to have everyone on-side.

One of the biggest breakthroughs people get in their personal development coaching with me is learning the power of taking responsibility. Clearly, Cheryl Cole learned this at a very young age. I'm sure it must have contributed towards the success she is now enjoying. Good for her!

My central heating has broken. It's the pump to be precise, and some valve or other. I've barely thought about the system for eight years when it last went wrong. Of course, had I thought about it and got chemicals put into the system regularly and had the boiler serviced every year etc, it might not have broken down - who knows?. Would have, should have, could have. Let's see if I learn from this expensive lesson in the future.

In the meantime, the house is feeling decidedly chilly and we're rediscovering the charm and comfort of woolly jumpers and pyjamas.

The passing of Stephen Gately brings back memories of my partner, Martin Horton, who died in 1991. He was only 30 but at the time I remember taking comfort in the fact that he'd reached his 30's. I naively thought, as a twenty something, that 30 was reasonably old. Now I realise just how young 30 is - and so is 33 which was the age of Stephen Gately.

For me, the passing of the years has brought an acceptance that Martin was supposed to be here for a short time. If he was meant to live until his 80's, he would have done. Obviously, I speak with a voice that's had eighteen years (almost to the day) to come to terms with losing such a young person but bitter experience does tell me that calm acceptance is the only real way forwards. I've played every What If game there is - 'what might we have been doing now?', 'how old would he have been now?', 'where would we be living now?' What If games are a part of the grieving process and maybe they serve a valuable purpose. Eventually though, they will have to give way to quiet, calm acceptance.

I sincerely hope that Stephen Gately's family, friends and partner are able to move forwards and achieve peace of mind.

I'm revamping my website. The words are not flowing as quickly as I'd like but I'm making progress and it's been great exercise for my poor brain.