Nancy, who I've been coaching for a few months, told me this week that she's worried about an upcoming wedding. An ex boyfriend will be there and Nancy is worried that she'll fall under his spell again - "he has some sort of power over me", she said. I asked her how using those particular words was likely to serve her, given that she has certainly moved on in her life since breaking up with him. The answer that we eventually came up with was, to SAY "he has some sort of power over me" is probably GIVING him some sort of power. We set a Resource Anchor (Empowerment) for Nancy to use at the wedding if she needs it and then spent some time discussing language patterns.

Language patterns really do affect the way we feel and behave. "We've had a terrible journey". "I can't stand Tuesdays". "That child's a little monster!" "I'm not bad". "The supermarket was an absolute nightmare today". All of these statements, along with hundreds of others we hear every day, could be replaced with much more positive ones. The world would probably be a markedly different place if this were to happen.

I spent two days this week working as an evaluator for Christopher Howard Training. I met some amazing new people and hope I'll stay in touch with some of them.

Towards the end of the second day I had a call to say that one of my oldest and dearest friends, Michael Summerton, had passed away. I left the training straight away and went to meet up with some other close friends of Michael. We had some drinks, went for dinner and remembered some of the fun and fabulous times we'd all spent together. There were many.

The theme of loss often comes up when I'm coaching. I often explain the law of Attachment/Detachment. For every attachment you make in your life, there will be a detachment. An attachment can last for thirty seconds or a life time. But it will be followed by a detachment. My attachment to Michael began in 1983 when he managed the group Hot Gossip - Arlene Phillips has remained a close friend and client of Michael to this day. He was, quite simply, the funniest person I've ever met. He was also very successful in the entertainment field, hugely popular and very kind. We had a lovely holiday together in St Lucia at the end of last year and we spent Easter at Sandbanks on the south coast.

And now, like all his other friends, I'm trying to come to terms with Michael's death. Detachment. Does realising the law of Attachment/Detachment make this any easier? Forty eight hours after his death, probably not. Is it even supposed to? I'll try the pearl of wisdom from last week (Loss is the Motor... etc) and see if that works...

I started coaching a girl called Caroline this week. She's a fun person working in marketing and looks a bit like Davina McCall. Although Caroline has a very 'together' life in lots of ways, she wants to achieve more focus and direction. I knew this before our first meeting and so had given it some thought. My ponderings coincided with the elections and the news surrounding them - some of which is always about the number of people who DON'T vote. It struck me that voting could actually be something that is key in terms of whether someone is focussed or not. I'm not talking about which party a person votes for here - simply whether or not they exercise their right to vote. It's my guess that nearly everyone who doesn't vote is lacking focus in some respect.

Caroline, as it happens, didn't vote. Her first task from me has been to find out who her local MP is and to find out some basic political facts about where she lives. It will be very interesting to see what the knock-on effect of this first task is.

I was in my local cafe the other morning - Sobo on Tower Bridge Road. I was racking my poor brains trying to come up with some content for a seminar I was presenting that afternoon entitled 'Loss and Bereavement'. The Latte didn't seem to be helping and nothing was flowing until another morning regular caught my eye. We had a little chat and I saw her eyeing my empty note pad - so I picked her brains. Straight away she gave me a wonderful line to work with:- "Loss is the motor that drives us into the future..." My creative juices went into overdrive and I opened the seminar a few hours later by writing that quote onto the flip-chart.

Fifteen minutes into the seminar, one of the guys there (who, I think, was there for a specific reason) had a real 'light bulb' moment. He put his hand up and, looking slightly dazed, said "I really get what that quote means". Clearly a big emotional door had opened somewhere for this guy - and this was the first time he'd ever ventured into the area of personal development. Exciting for him - and a real treat for his coach!!

My realisation was what a wonderful resource picking someone's brains is. And so simple! Thank you Beverley!!

Virtually all of my work is about helping my clients to move forward. This can mean soooooo many things. For me, today, moving forward has been about starting a blog and attaching it to my website - in spite of finding technology challenging. I've taken responsibility, been resourceful and just done it!

Ok - enough of the self congratulations. However, if you want to move forwards somehow today, you'll probably need to do these three things too. 1. Take Responsibility. 2. Be Resourceful. 3. Just do it!