Nancy, who I've been coaching for a few months, told me this week that she's worried about an upcoming wedding. An ex boyfriend will be there and Nancy is worried that she'll fall under his spell again - "he has some sort of power over me", she said. I asked her how using those particular words was likely to serve her, given that she has certainly moved on in her life since breaking up with him. The answer that we eventually came up with was, to SAY "he has some sort of power over me" is probably GIVING him some sort of power. We set a Resource Anchor (Empowerment) for Nancy to use at the wedding if she needs it and then spent some time discussing language patterns.

Language patterns really do affect the way we feel and behave. "We've had a terrible journey". "I can't stand Tuesdays". "That child's a little monster!" "I'm not bad". "The supermarket was an absolute nightmare today". All of these statements, along with hundreds of others we hear every day, could be replaced with much more positive ones. The world would probably be a markedly different place if this were to happen.