I had a very busy start to the week with my mother, sister and her toddler and baby and dog to stay. We had a lovely time which included a dinner party on Monday night with a colleague of mine, trips to the park and coffee in the local cafe, Sobo (www.sobogallery.co.uk).

Whenever there's a group of people, whether its family, friend or workmates, there's going to be an exchange of ideas. This morning, while I was following one of my mother's pearls of wisdom (something about bleach and dishcloths) I realised how easy it is to ignore or overlook really useful advice. However open minded we like to think we are, we all have our routines, habits and models of the world and sometimes it's difficult to deviate from these.

I'm going to make use of this revelation by listening to people more. If I'm going to be a know it all, I might as well be good at it.

Do you ever wake up in the night and feel as though your imagination has gone into overdrive? Thoughts just keep on going round and round and as soon as you get rid of one another replaces it. Here's what to do:-

1. Leave a pad and pencil next to your bed. Just do it.
2. If you wake up and start thinking, write the thought down and decide to deal with whatever it is the next day.
3. You'll find that that particular thought disappears - exactly as if the thought that was in your head has literally been transferred onto paper.
4. If another thought arrives, do the same thing. You'll soon find that your head is clear and you can go back to sleep.

For more sleeping well tips go to my Facebook Group, Stephen Hewson's Coaching Blog.

My father and step-mother have been staying with me this week. We've had a lovely time. Yesterday Dad and I went to the London Dungeon. I'd not been for years, he'd never been and it seemed like a fun idea. It didn't even occur to me that we might have to wait in a queue. I honestly thought that we would simply arrive and stroll in - I'm not sure whether it was a sign of good old-fashioned optimism or plain naivity. We queued for two hours. Might even have been two and a half. And I'll tell you something else - we didn't moan about it once. We just did it. Had nice chats, had an ice cream, reflected on the fact that we were the only two people there not accompanying children or teenagers. I was actually rather proud of us - there were plenty of people there getting bad tempered and others pulling the most extraordinary faces, but not us!

This two hour-plus episode served to remind me that being negative about anything rarely serves a useful purpose. Things don't always go according to plan and sometimes you just have to get on with it and keep smiling.

If you're wondering if it was worth the wait - yes it was - we really enjoyed it!

Following the death of my dear friend Michael, I received the following email:-

Darling S - we were so sorry to hear about Michael's very speedy demise and death. You told us he wasn't well but it seems that he enjoyed reasonable health until pretty near the end of his life. He certainly seemed both engaged and happy on the sunny day when we all met at NO. You will be missing a good friend and we send you our heartfelt sympathies. I know that J forwarded requested photo to you. All love and again we are very sorry to hear your sad sad news. xx Derek

The interesting thing for me has been that having ones grief acknowledged really does help. Michael's passing has affected me deeply but I've always been a person to come to terms with these things in a private way. Someone saying 'we're thinking of you' and 'we're so sorry' is, quite simply, very comforting.

Although I don't consider it part of my remit as a coach to be too directive, I would ask everyone reading this to examine how they respond to hearing that a friend has lost someone. Doubtless many will react like Derek did in his email to me. Others might be too embarrassed/busy to say anything. For myself, I'm going to up the stakes with empathy and really try to understand how a bereaved person might be feeling and act accordingly.

For years I got up in the night. I'd wake at about 3am, spend 10 or 15 minutes trying to pretend I didn't need the loo, decide I did need the loo, get up and wee then go back to bed. This process probably took 25 minutes from beginning to end and was absolutely predictable.

That's all changed now - I very rarely get up in the night and usually sleep right through. What am I doing differently? It's sooooooooo simple! I (generally) make sure that I've finished all my liquids for the day by 6pm. IT WORKS!! I now feel quite silly that I never made the connection before and would rate my sleep at 8 or 9 out of ten instead of 7-ish. The knock on effect has been pretty remarkable too.

So, if you get up most nights to go to the loo, stop drinking your liquids by 6pm. Just give it a go and see what happens. I'd love to hear of any success stories!

Most of the people I've spoken to today saw at least part of the Michael Jackson Memorial Concert on tv yesterday. Everyone seems to have an opinion on him, his life, the Memorial Concert. There's certainly plenty of fodder to form an opinion about! The thing that no one could fail to notice was the positive spin that's been put on Jackson and his life - it's almost as if the controversy that's blighted him in so many ways in recent years never existed.

What might we be able to learn from this, looking at the bigger picture? For me, I guess there's something about the power of the positive. I very much like the idea that the positive components of my life ultimately wield much more power than the negatives. We can't yet know how the history books will treat Jackson but yesterday's spectacle was, quite simply, extraordinary!

I met up with Caroline again today - wow, has she made progress since 9th June. She's acted upon everything we discussed in a very positive way and already comes across as much more focussed (amongst other tasks, I had asked her to find out about her MP, read The Independent twice a week and listen to the Today programme on Radio 4). Digesting the content of our last session and completing the assigned tasks have really moved her forwards and there's now a definite spark in her, which is very attractive.

So, can listening to a different radio station (etc) REALLY induce such a profound change? Absolutely - the tasks are a small but important part of a much bigger process of change. It could be said that small, practical tasks work from the outside, moving inwards. Other coaching methodology starts from within and grows outwards.

The fact is, Caroline is hungry to get out of her rut - her improved focus will give her a sharper view of the world and what she wants from it. When someone knows what they WANT, the fun begins. I'm very much looking forward to watching Caroline's journey.