Following the death of my dear friend Michael, I received the following email:-

Darling S - we were so sorry to hear about Michael's very speedy demise and death. You told us he wasn't well but it seems that he enjoyed reasonable health until pretty near the end of his life. He certainly seemed both engaged and happy on the sunny day when we all met at NO. You will be missing a good friend and we send you our heartfelt sympathies. I know that J forwarded requested photo to you. All love and again we are very sorry to hear your sad sad news. xx Derek

The interesting thing for me has been that having ones grief acknowledged really does help. Michael's passing has affected me deeply but I've always been a person to come to terms with these things in a private way. Someone saying 'we're thinking of you' and 'we're so sorry' is, quite simply, very comforting.

Although I don't consider it part of my remit as a coach to be too directive, I would ask everyone reading this to examine how they respond to hearing that a friend has lost someone. Doubtless many will react like Derek did in his email to me. Others might be too embarrassed/busy to say anything. For myself, I'm going to up the stakes with empathy and really try to understand how a bereaved person might be feeling and act accordingly.